I Love My Haters

Recently I ran across an article on Revelest.com titled:

Blogger Points Out Sexist Double Standard In Wake Of Tess Holliday Cover Backlash

By Emerald Pellot

Tess Holliday, a plus size model and just overall amazing person received quite a bit of backlash over her cover on Cosmopolitan Uk. As outlined in the article, most of the flack came from people who felt her being on the cover was endorsing being obese. If you want to read the article here’s the link:

https://www.revelist.com/internet/tess-holliday-cosmopolitan-backlash/13426/of-course-piers-morgan-was-one-of-the-trolls/5

For anyone who doesn’t know, Tess has always been an advocate for body positivity and embracing herself/her body no matter what the haters say. That is the mentality behind the #effyourbeautystandards movement that she and many women (and men) around the world have started to embrace. At it’s core this movement is just about acceptance of yourself and letting other people know that regardless of what they think, you still love yourself.

I believe that it’s for that very reason, that the backlash she’s getting is so disgusting to me. Disgusting sounds like a strong word right? Well I think it fits this situation perfectly. The cover is obviously meant to promote self-love and body positivity, but people turned it into a weight issue. Let’s be honest, although people say it’s about health it’s not. In a society that has finally started to embrace more diverse types of beauty, people have looked for more politically correct ways of insulting people.

How is a woman loving the skin she’s in a way for her to promote obesity? How is she the poster girl for being unhealthy? It’s because people are threatened. They try to mask it behind “concern” for her well-being but we all know that’s not what this is about. This is about other people’s insecurities and them being uncomfortable.

As hard as it is to believe, there are people who genuinely feel offended by other people and their confidence. They have fought so hard to look a certain way or live their life a certain way so that they can finally feel accepted within society’s standards of what is an acceptable life. Then here comes a woman who has decided that she loves each and every inch of herself when all she does is live her life.

There are also those who find plus size women disgusting. They can’t fathom how anyone would want them. In their minds plus size women cannot be attractive and they should be ashamed of themselves. This type of mentality is more common than you would think. More often than not, the trolls with fake profiles are the ones who boldly leave comments like this. Others just like it and keep it moving because they are afraid of the backlash they could receive.

I can’t help but feel that their frustrations are severely misplaced and insulting. They have twisted her message of empowerment to suit their needs and I am not here for it. The reason I chose the picture I did for the featured picture is because I want people to see the cellulite, the stomach, the thighs, the scars, and the stretch marks. I want people to see my story. I love who I am and you don’t have to.

If you want to hear more about this tune into my podcast Vitamin Key. Let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow!

Here’s the link:

https://anchor.fm/keyra-dominique

P.S. My Podcast Vitamin Key is also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts

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Stop Hating On the Confidence

I always advocate for self-confidence and body positivity because I know how important it is for people to find love for themselves. There’s nothing sadder than believing you have to ask others for permission to love yourself. I see so many people do this and when they don’t get the recognition they seek, they fall into depression. I have been in that place myself and I know just how easy it is to fall into the habit of looking to others for the approval that you can’t find within yourself.

What’s crazier is that people actually want you to seek their permission to love yourself! Have you ever noticed how people want someone who is confident, but also want them to seek their permission to be confident? They want someone who loves themselves, but they put people down if they don’t fit their criteria. People want you to look a certain kind of way, dress a certain kind of way, or live a certain kind of way in order to gain their approval. I refuse to do it and so should you. You don’t need anyone to tell you that it’s okay to love yourself.

I have seen men and women alike post a picture of themselves and take the picture down because of comments that were negative. Sometimes the comments came from total strangers and sometimes they came from people that they know. When they uploaded the picture they loved it but it only took a matter of minutes for them to lose that confidence. It’s extremely easy to sit behind a keyboard and talk badly about others, especially when you don’t even like yourself. Social media has led to what I call “troll culture”. These people make it a point to troll others and make people feel bad about themselves but guess what? Not anymore.

Take your power back! Take your confidence back! Take your self-love back! Tell the trolls to STOP HATING ON THE CONFIDENCE and find some. You weren’t put on this earth to be judged by the people around you, especially if that judgement is making you unhappy. I want people to see that I have stretch marks. I want them to see that I have fat. I want them to see that my hair is kinky. I want them to see my eczema and acne scars. I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME!

The reason for that is, I want others to embrace who they are without worrying about what everyone thinks. I know it’s not easy but trust me it is so worth it. You will see a lot of differences in the way that you think and act. That shirt you didn’t think you could wear? You’ll wear it. Those shoes you thought you were too tall for? You’ll wear them. The outfit you’ve put off wearing because you didn’t think you could pull it off? You will rock it and dare a hater to hate.

I talk more on this subject in my podcast Stop Hating On the Confidence. Be sure to listen and let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow!

Team Natural

I always want people to see me in the most authentic way possible. I feel like it’s important because there are so many people quick to put out false representations of themselves in order to impress others. None of us are perfect but that’s okay! You don’t have to be. This is something I had a hard time figuring out the first time I went natural. It’s not easy to embrace things that people usually tell you are not attractive. That’s how I felt about my hair.

I can’t help the type of hair that grows out of my head but I used to hate the way it looked. Ridiculous right?! I wanted to have the loose curly hair that everyone deemed “good hair”. I didn’t like the idea of having kinkier hair. Looking back, I see how important it is to learn how to love things before letting others color your perception of it. I had already convinced myself that I should not like my hair because of what other people thought and oh how wrong I was.

Our hair is unique to us, and that uniqueness should be embraced. One thing I learned was that despite everyone having similar curl patterns and textures, no one’s hair is exactly the same. Different parts of my hair are literally different curl patterns AND textures! The back my hair is around a 4b curl pattern and the front is more of a 4c curl pattern. For those of you who don’t know what that means, see the chart below:

The texture of my hair lies somewhere between type 6 and 7:

Loving your hair is a journey, and not an easy one at that. I think everyone should figure what works best for them and learn to embrace what makes them happy. I’m team natural because I WANT TO BE but if you aren’t, do you hun! What matters most is that: 1. Your hair is healthy

2. You love it!

To hear me talk more about this topic, listen to my podcast called Hair: If You Like It I Love It. I talk a little more about my natural hair journey and experience. Let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow.

 

Vitaminkey93

So today I decided to take a leap of faith and put one of the t-shirt designs I’ve been working on up for sale. I have been holding off, convincing myself not to do it for so long for so many reasons. How many people do you see selling t-shirt? Tons right! That’s why I was afraid to do it, but fear is all a part of chasing your dreams.

I’m sure it’s something you’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to do. You’ve probably done the same thing I have. You’ve decided that there are a lot of people out there doing the same thing and you’ve convinced yourself that there is no point in doing it. Oh but you would be wrong. Why? It’s because there is only one you. No one can take away from the fact that there are some things that are better because you are the one that’s doing it.

I’m done talking myself out of it and there’s no reason I shouldn’t pursue my dreams. As I tread unknown waters I pray that you are willing to help me get closer to my dreams. Below is a link to teespring.com where you can purchase one of my Better Not Bitter t-shirt for Vitaminkey93. Thank you so much for any and all support. I hope that you also start to embrace your dreams.

Cardi b & Nicki Minaj

Over the last year there has been comparisons made between Nicki Minaj and Cardi b. Many people saying that Cardi has taken influence from Nicki’s style (in fashion and rapping). What’s interesting about this is that the same thing happened to Nicki when she first started to rise in the industry. People accused her of biting Lil Kim’s  style. After that, there was beef between her and Remy Ma. Now that it has died down, there is a strange infatuation with whatever issues Nicki and Cardi have with each other. My question is why?

People are no stranger to rap beefs. Some of the best songs came as a result of rap beefs. One of the best examples of this can be seen with No Vaseline by Ice Cube. Sometimes it is because of actual issues present between the artist and other times it comes as a result of an obvious publicity stunt.

Despite that being the case, there is a strange infatuation with female rappers and beef between them now. They have to fight even harder to earn the respect that men get in the industry, but for some reason it seems as if there is only room for one to rule. Despite there being more than one title male rappers tend to credit to themselves, there apparently can only be one queen. The feeling that not everyone can get a piece of the pie is especially prevalent when it comes to female MC’s in this industry. You can’t like both. It has to be one or the other. This has helped add to tensions already present between Cardi and Nicki.

It’s almost as if the world does not want to see both win. This beef they have has soared to newer heights after the fight that happened at a recent party. Things were said, hands were thrown, let’s talk about it.

(Picture credited to the shaderoom)