I always want people to see me in the most authentic way possible. I feel like it’s important because there are so many people quick to put out false representations of themselves in order to impress others. None of us are perfect but that’s okay! You don’t have to be. This is something I had a hard time figuring out the first time I went natural. It’s not easy to embrace things that people usually tell you are not attractive. That’s how I felt about my hair.
I can’t help the type of hair that grows out of my head but I used to hate the way it looked. Ridiculous right?! I wanted to have the loose curly hair that everyone deemed “good hair”. I didn’t like the idea of having kinkier hair. Looking back, I see how important it is to learn how to love things before letting others color your perception of it. I had already convinced myself that I should not like my hair because of what other people thought and oh how wrong I was.
Our hair is unique to us, and that uniqueness should be embraced. One thing I learned was that despite everyone having similar curl patterns and textures, no one’s hair is exactly the same. Different parts of my hair are literally different curl patterns AND textures! The back my hair is around a 4b curl pattern and the front is more of a 4c curl pattern. For those of you who don’t know what that means, see the chart below:
The texture of my hair lies somewhere between type 6 and 7:
Loving your hair is a journey, and not an easy one at that. I think everyone should figure what works best for them and learn to embrace what makes them happy. I’m team natural because I WANT TO BE but if you aren’t, do you hun! What matters most is that: 1. Your hair is healthy
2. You love it!
To hear me talk more about this topic, listen to my podcast called Hair: If You Like It I Love It. I talk a little more about my natural hair journey and experience. Let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow.
Over the last year there has been comparisons made between Nicki Minaj and Cardi b. Many people saying that Cardi has taken influence from Nicki’s style (in fashion and rapping). What’s interesting about this is that the same thing happened to Nicki when she first started to rise in the industry. People accused her of biting Lil Kim’s style. After that, there was beef between her and Remy Ma. Now that it has died down, there is a strange infatuation with whatever issues Nicki and Cardi have with each other. My question is why?
People are no stranger to rap beefs. Some of the best songs came as a result of rap beefs. One of the best examples of this can be seen with No Vaseline by Ice Cube. Sometimes it is because of actual issues present between the artist and other times it comes as a result of an obvious publicity stunt.
Despite that being the case, there is a strange infatuation with female rappers and beef between them now. They have to fight even harder to earn the respect that men get in the industry, but for some reason it seems as if there is only room for one to rule. Despite there being more than one title male rappers tend to credit to themselves, there apparently can only be one queen. The feeling that not everyone can get a piece of the pie is especially prevalent when it comes to female MC’s in this industry. You can’t like both. It has to be one or the other. This has helped add to tensions already present between Cardi and Nicki.
It’s almost as if the world does not want to see both win. This beef they have has soared to newer heights after the fight that happened at a recent party. Things were said, hands were thrown, let’s talk about it.
When did we start letting social media control who we are? When did it start being about everyone but us?
I remember a time when we could be ourselves on social media: When being ourselves was the whole point. Now it’s turned into a sort of competition. Everyone wants to seem like they are living the best life even when they aren’t. It’s become a breeding ground for people who have either become narcissistic or depressed. There is a false sense of security with being popular online that many have become accustomed to.
Remember when we were just content with being in someone’s top friends on Myspace? Remember when we were just exited to meet other people our age from another school? Remember when we were just happy to have a way to connect with family and friends we never get to see? Now we’re more concerned about what Karen from finance thinks about our outfit. It’s not fair. We need to take it back. We need to learn how to embrace ourselves without being fearful of what everyone else might think.
For some, trolling is a full time job. They enjoy trying to make other people feel miserable. They hide behind fake google images and random images so that they can bully other people online. Why do they have so much power? It’s because we’ve given it to them. I’ve been called fat, unattractive, been told I need to lose weight, and it will probably only get worse in the future. Why? Because trolls will always exist as long as social media (actually the internet) exists. I’ve learned to tune it out and show them that I won’t be defeated by their words. I spent enough time tearing myself down, I’m not about to let others do the same.
Below is from my recent podcast where I talk a little more about this topic. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Be sure to like, comment, share, and follow me while you’re at it.
This post is dedicated to my strong mama, my strong auntie, and my strong sister. They each have lupus and are some of the strongest and bravest people I know: PERIOD. Each day they fight against themselves for control of their life and win. Not only are they fighters but they often times go misunderstood by even the people closest to them. Lupus isn’t something you typically see so most people who have don’t look “sick”.
For anyone who is unfamiliar, lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease. According to the Lupus Foundation of America, it is a disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs). “Chronic” means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. Each person is different and this disease manifests differently for most people. Sometimes there are noticeable signs of it on the skin but it also shows up as pain felt by the person with lupus, and not seen by others.
Those with lupus can suffer from a whole host of problems. Here are some listed below…
The most common symptoms of lupus (which are the same for men and women) are:
Extreme fatigue (tiredness)
Painful or swollen joints
Anemia (low numbers of red blood cells or hemoglobin, or low total blood volume)
Swelling (edema) in feet, legs, hands, and/or around eyes
Pain in chest on deep breathing (pleurisy)
Butterfly-shaped rash across cheeks and nose
Sun- or light-sensitivity (photosensitivity)
Abnormal blood clotting
Fingers turning white and/or blue when cold
Mouth or nose ulcers
What’s sad is that this disease can be treated but not cured. There is research being done on this disease which you can donate to by going to the Lupus Foundation of America’s website:
I felt the need to discuss these ladies because lupus is still something that not very many people know of. It’s usually not noticeable to others so the pain they feel is usually greater than what they let on. Not only that, but it can lead to a whole host of other medical problems. My mom for instance, is very susceptible to getting sick because her body does not fight back properly against the disease. My sister and aunt both have had it manifest in ways such as swelling and discoloration of skin. They fight just to do everyday things most of us take for granted. That’s exactly why I made this podcast episode for them. If you have time, give it a listen.
This is from an episode of my podcast Vitamin Key is called:
The Dark Cloud of Depression
I talk a little about my thoughts on depression, people’s perception of it, and my own experience with it. It’s not an easy thing to tell people you deal with for fear of being judged, but I think it’s important that we talk about it more if people are to start being able to deal with it.
When people think about depression they usually think about the commercials. Not the actual experience of being in a state of depression. Let’s be honest: most people don’t understand it and many don’t take the time to. It makes them uncomfortable and it’s not easy to help someone who has it. I talk a little about this in my podcast. Take a listen. Let me know what you think, and let’s talk about it.