A Little Girl Talk: Messy Couch Chronicles Part 1

Hey loves! This new year has reminded me that I have to get new perspective on a lot of things in my life. A new year doesn’t mean a new you, but new opportunities to change, to grow, and to really blossom into the person you want to be. With that in mind I’m making an effort to get back into being more consistent with my blog posts. Baby steps! So it is my goal to at least post once a week.

This week I’m introducing you to one of the new segments I want to start on my YouTube channel: Messy Couch Discussions. I want this to feel like girl talk time. I am inviting you into my house and I want you to grab a seat, sip a little tea, and enjoy the fun! In this video me and my best friend discuss competitiveness among women.

Why do women feel so threatened by each other? Why do they instinctively have an issue with each other before they even get to know each other? It’s sad because when you meet a new person that is an opportunity to uplift. You can be the difference between them having the best day ever or the worst day they’ve had in a long time.

I think the reason it’s so hard for women to get along is competitiveness and a lack of self-confidence. Women grade themselves against each other and feel like other women threaten their opportunities. But that’s ridiculous! Another woman being successful is not meant to be competition but inspiration. Don’t be so worried someone else’s piece of the pie when you could be cutting your own slice. Let’s stop tearing each other down and start pushing each other forward. You could find more meaningful connections by being a source of light instead of darkness.

Please check out the video below from my YouTube channel Vitamin Key. We talk more about this topic. Do you agree? Have you had similar experiences? Were you the one judging or being judged? Let me know in the comments. #LetsTalkAboutIt !

Oh and as always don’t forget to like, share, follow, and subscribe for more content. Stay Fluffy Loves!

 

Dating!

So today I did a podcast with my best friend about dating (I’ll leave the link to my podcast at the bottom). We talked about some dating pet peeves, gave a little advice, and just had a blast discussing the topic. I felt like I needed to make a blog post to accompany that podcast since there were a few things I didn’t get to for the sake of time.

Dating can be pretty hard to maneuver nowadays….*sigh*. It’s just not what it used to be. Everyone is so busy living in the moment that they don’t care nearly as much about their future. It’s almost as if they’re afraid to look forward. I understand, it’s easier not to get hurt when you don’t commit in the first place but where’s the fun in that?

If you want something worth having you have to work at it. That applies to a lot of things including a meaningful relationship. The problem is, most people are too afraid to risk getting hurt because they’ve been hurt before. The worse situations are when people hurt others with a “get them before they can get me” type of attitude. What you end up with is a world full of people who have relationship phobias.

I can understand it. At one point I vowed to be single for the rest of my life, and I told myself that it would just be me and God until I R.I.P. The problem with that mentality is that I was avoiding the problem. I didn’t resolve the issue I just hid from it.

What ended up happening was I got lonely. I started to see that I was only doing it because I was still hurting and didn’t want to face that hurt again. That’s not healthy! Instead I turned my focus towards rebuilding my confidence. I forgave my ex and told myself that I would concentrate on being happy with myself. You have to get to the point where you take care of yourself but don’t close yourself off from the possibility of a wonderful relationship.

Everyone claims to be happy with their “situation” until they finally get more. It’s okay to want more. It’s alright to desire a deeper connection and admit that you’re afraid it might never happen. What’s most important is building happiness within. Once you start to change you’ll see opportunities appear that you didn’t think would. Today I want you to allow yourself the chance to take a chance!

On a more lighthearted note, don’t forget to tune into my podcast Vitamin Key titled: Dating! Feat. Nae McCall

Podcast Link: https://anchor.fm/keyra-dominique

(Me and my best friend Nae)

And you know the drill, let me know what you think. Don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow.

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/keyradominique/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/keyra_thomas?s=09

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/kdt1993/

I Love My Haters

Recently I ran across an article on Revelest.com titled:

Blogger Points Out Sexist Double Standard In Wake Of Tess Holliday Cover Backlash

By Emerald Pellot

Tess Holliday, a plus size model and just overall amazing person received quite a bit of backlash over her cover on Cosmopolitan Uk. As outlined in the article, most of the flack came from people who felt her being on the cover was endorsing being obese. If you want to read the article here’s the link:

https://www.revelist.com/internet/tess-holliday-cosmopolitan-backlash/13426/of-course-piers-morgan-was-one-of-the-trolls/5

For anyone who doesn’t know, Tess has always been an advocate for body positivity and embracing herself/her body no matter what the haters say. That is the mentality behind the #effyourbeautystandards movement that she and many women (and men) around the world have started to embrace. At it’s core this movement is just about acceptance of yourself and letting other people know that regardless of what they think, you still love yourself.

I believe that it’s for that very reason, that the backlash she’s getting is so disgusting to me. Disgusting sounds like a strong word right? Well I think it fits this situation perfectly. The cover is obviously meant to promote self-love and body positivity, but people turned it into a weight issue. Let’s be honest, although people say it’s about health it’s not. In a society that has finally started to embrace more diverse types of beauty, people have looked for more politically correct ways of insulting people.

How is a woman loving the skin she’s in a way for her to promote obesity? How is she the poster girl for being unhealthy? It’s because people are threatened. They try to mask it behind “concern” for her well-being but we all know that’s not what this is about. This is about other people’s insecurities and them being uncomfortable.

As hard as it is to believe, there are people who genuinely feel offended by other people and their confidence. They have fought so hard to look a certain way or live their life a certain way so that they can finally feel accepted within society’s standards of what is an acceptable life. Then here comes a woman who has decided that she loves each and every inch of herself when all she does is live her life.

There are also those who find plus size women disgusting. They can’t fathom how anyone would want them. In their minds plus size women cannot be attractive and they should be ashamed of themselves. This type of mentality is more common than you would think. More often than not, the trolls with fake profiles are the ones who boldly leave comments like this. Others just like it and keep it moving because they are afraid of the backlash they could receive.

I can’t help but feel that their frustrations are severely misplaced and insulting. They have twisted her message of empowerment to suit their needs and I am not here for it. The reason I chose the picture I did for the featured picture is because I want people to see the cellulite, the stomach, the thighs, the scars, and the stretch marks. I want people to see my story. I love who I am and you don’t have to.

If you want to hear more about this tune into my podcast Vitamin Key. Let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow!

Here’s the link:

https://anchor.fm/keyra-dominique

P.S. My Podcast Vitamin Key is also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts

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Vitaminkey93

So today I decided to take a leap of faith and put one of the t-shirt designs I’ve been working on up for sale. I have been holding off, convincing myself not to do it for so long for so many reasons. How many people do you see selling t-shirt? Tons right! That’s why I was afraid to do it, but fear is all a part of chasing your dreams.

I’m sure it’s something you’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to do. You’ve probably done the same thing I have. You’ve decided that there are a lot of people out there doing the same thing and you’ve convinced yourself that there is no point in doing it. Oh but you would be wrong. Why? It’s because there is only one you. No one can take away from the fact that there are some things that are better because you are the one that’s doing it.

I’m done talking myself out of it and there’s no reason I shouldn’t pursue my dreams. As I tread unknown waters I pray that you are willing to help me get closer to my dreams. Below is a link to teespring.com where you can purchase one of my Better Not Bitter t-shirt for Vitaminkey93. Thank you so much for any and all support. I hope that you also start to embrace your dreams.

Lupus Warriors

This post is dedicated to my strong mama, my strong auntie, and my strong sister. They each have lupus and are some of the strongest and bravest people I know: PERIOD. Each day they fight against themselves for control of their life and win. Not only are they fighters but they often times go misunderstood by even the people closest to them. Lupus isn’t something you typically see so most people who have don’t look “sick”.

For anyone who is unfamiliar, lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease. According to the Lupus Foundation of America, it is a disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs). “Chronic” means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. Each person is different and this disease manifests differently for most people. Sometimes there are noticeable signs of it on the skin but it also shows up as pain felt by the person with lupus, and not seen by others.

Those with lupus can suffer from a whole host of problems. Here are some listed below…

The most common symptoms of lupus (which are the same for men and women) are:

• Extreme fatigue (tiredness)
• Headaches
• Painful or swollen joints
• Fever
• Anemia (low numbers of red blood cells or hemoglobin, or low total blood volume)
• Swelling (edema) in feet, legs, hands, and/or around eyes
• Pain in chest on deep breathing (pleurisy)
• Butterfly-shaped rash across cheeks and nose
• Sun- or light-sensitivity (photosensitivity)
• Hair loss
• Abnormal blood clotting
• Fingers turning white and/or blue when cold
• Mouth or nose ulcers

What’s sad is that this disease can be treated but not cured. There is research being done on this disease which you can donate to by going to the Lupus Foundation of America’s website:

https://www.lupus.org/

I felt the need to discuss these ladies because lupus is still something that not very many people know of. It’s usually not noticeable to others so the pain they feel is usually greater than what they let on. Not only that, but it can lead to a whole host of other medical problems. My mom for instance, is very susceptible to getting sick because her body does not fight back properly against the disease. My sister and aunt both have had it manifest in ways such as swelling and discoloration of skin. They fight just to do everyday things most of us take for granted. That’s exactly why I made this podcast episode for them. If you have time, give it a listen.

As always, be sure to like, comment, and share.