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Stop Hating On the Confidence

I always advocate for self-confidence and body positivity because I know how important it is for people to find love for themselves. There’s nothing sadder than believing you have to ask others for permission to love yourself. I see so many people do this and when they don’t get the recognition they seek, they fall into depression. I have been in that place myself and I know just how easy it is to fall into the habit of looking to others for the approval that you can’t find within yourself.

What’s crazier is that people actually want you to seek their permission to love yourself! Have you ever noticed how people want someone who is confident, but also want them to seek their permission to be confident? They want someone who loves themselves, but they put people down if they don’t fit their criteria. People want you to look a certain kind of way, dress a certain kind of way, or live a certain kind of way in order to gain their approval. I refuse to do it and so should you. You don’t need anyone to tell you that it’s okay to love yourself.

I have seen men and women alike post a picture of themselves and take the picture down because of comments that were negative. Sometimes the comments came from total strangers and sometimes they came from people that they know. When they uploaded the picture they loved it but it only took a matter of minutes for them to lose that confidence. It’s extremely easy to sit behind a keyboard and talk badly about others, especially when you don’t even like yourself. Social media has led to what I call “troll culture”. These people make it a point to troll others and make people feel bad about themselves but guess what? Not anymore.

Take your power back! Take your confidence back! Take your self-love back! Tell the trolls to STOP HATING ON THE CONFIDENCE and find some. You weren’t put on this earth to be judged by the people around you, especially if that judgement is making you unhappy. I want people to see that I have stretch marks. I want them to see that I have fat. I want them to see that my hair is kinky. I want them to see my eczema and acne scars. I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME!

The reason for that is, I want others to embrace who they are without worrying about what everyone thinks. I know it’s not easy but trust me it is so worth it. You will see a lot of differences in the way that you think and act. That shirt you didn’t think you could wear? You’ll wear it. Those shoes you thought you were too tall for? You’ll wear them. The outfit you’ve put off wearing because you didn’t think you could pull it off? You will rock it and dare a hater to hate.

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I talk more on this subject in my podcast Stop Hating On the Confidence. Be sure to listen and let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and follow!

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Vitaminkey93

So today I decided to take a leap of faith and put one of the t-shirt designs I’ve been working on up for sale. I have been holding off, convincing myself not to do it for so long for so many reasons. How many people do you see selling t-shirt? Tons right! That’s why I was afraid to do it, but fear is all a part of chasing your dreams.

I’m sure it’s something you’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to do. You’ve probably done the same thing I have. You’ve decided that there are a lot of people out there doing the same thing and you’ve convinced yourself that there is no point in doing it. Oh but you would be wrong. Why? It’s because there is only one you. No one can take away from the fact that there are some things that are better because you are the one that’s doing it.

I’m done talking myself out of it and there’s no reason I shouldn’t pursue my dreams. As I tread unknown waters I pray that you are willing to help me get closer to my dreams. Below is a link to teespring.com where you can purchase one of my Better Not Bitter t-shirt for Vitaminkey93. Thank you so much for any and all support. I hope that you also start to embrace your dreams.

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Cardi b & Nicki Minaj

Over the last year there has been comparisons made between Nicki Minaj and Cardi b. Many people saying that Cardi has taken influence from Nicki’s style (in fashion and rapping). What’s interesting about this is that the same thing happened to Nicki when she first started to rise in the industry. People accused her of biting Lil Kim’s  style. After that, there was beef between her and Remy Ma. Now that it has died down, there is a strange infatuation with whatever issues Nicki and Cardi have with each other. My question is why?

People are no stranger to rap beefs. Some of the best songs came as a result of rap beefs. One of the best examples of this can be seen with No Vaseline by Ice Cube. Sometimes it is because of actual issues present between the artist and other times it comes as a result of an obvious publicity stunt.

Despite that being the case, there is a strange infatuation with female rappers and beef between them now. They have to fight even harder to earn the respect that men get in the industry, but for some reason it seems as if there is only room for one to rule. Despite there being more than one title male rappers tend to credit to themselves, there apparently can only be one queen. The feeling that not everyone can get a piece of the pie is especially prevalent when it comes to female MC’s in this industry. You can’t like both. It has to be one or the other. This has helped add to tensions already present between Cardi and Nicki.

It’s almost as if the world does not want to see both win. This beef they have has soared to newer heights after the fight that happened at a recent party. Things were said, hands were thrown, let’s talk about it.

(Picture credited to the shaderoom)

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What Happened? Social Media

When did we start letting social media control who we are? When did it start being about everyone but us?

I remember a time when we could be ourselves on social media: When being ourselves was the whole point. Now it’s turned into a sort of competition. Everyone wants to seem like they are living the best life even when they aren’t. It’s become a breeding ground for people who have either become narcissistic or depressed. There is a false sense of security with being popular online that many have become accustomed to.

Remember when we were just content with being in someone’s top friends on Myspace? Remember when we were just exited to meet other people our age from another school? Remember when we were just happy to have a way to connect with family and friends we never get to see? Now we’re more concerned about what Karen from finance thinks about our outfit. It’s not fair. We need to take it back. We need to learn how to embrace ourselves without being fearful of what everyone else might think.

For some, trolling is a full time job. They enjoy trying to make other people feel miserable. They hide behind fake google images and random images so that they can bully other people online. Why do they have so much power? It’s because we’ve given it to them. I’ve been called fat, unattractive, been told I need to lose weight, and it will probably only get worse in the future. Why? Because trolls will always exist as long as social media (actually the internet) exists. I’ve learned to tune it out and show them that I won’t be defeated by their words. I spent enough time tearing myself down, I’m not about to let others do the same.

Below is from my recent podcast where I talk a little more about this topic. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Be sure to like, comment, share, and follow me while you’re at it.

Thanks for reading and thanks for listening!!